Follow the Spirit
John 1:29-42
January 16, 2005
First Baptist Church, Wilson, NC

SOME OF YOU IN THIS ROOM HAVE FOUND JESUS. You have come to know without a shadow of a doubt who Jesus is. You had some "glorious, instantaneous moment" when you really saw Jesus for who he is, and that revelation has stayed with you and nurtured you ever since. You found it, and that settles it.

FOR OTHERS OF YOU IN THIS ROOM, IT IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT. For you, there are all kinds of doubts and shadows. You desperately want to believe in something, but you have questions, and you have reservations.

My own spiritual journey has been a bit of both. I’ve told you about my experience as a boy at Camp Caraway when us boys were given "sealed orders," that is, a devotion that told us first to go out into the woods by ourselves and then pray. When I did that, it was the first time I ever was totally still by myself, totally at attention, waiting for I did not know what. Then the hairs on the back of my neck stood up with the realization that I was not alone out there, that there was a Presence all around me. When I came back out of those woods, I was convinced that there is a God. It was an eerie moment when I could see God and Jesus for who they were. It was a moment that I still experience in other places and other ways, including among you here. They are the moments when I have found Jesus.

But there are other times for me when it is more complicated than that. Just last week I told you also of my struggles in the face of the problem of evil and natural disasters, how it makes me question my assumptions and ask where God is and what in the world is going on. The suffering of innocents inspires all kinds of doubts and shadows in me. At those times, "it seems to me that Jesus keeps purposely slipping away, trying to stay one step ahead of me, beckoning me forward on my unfolding journey of faith."

Those last few words I have borrowed from a Presbyterian pastor in Maryland named Susan Andrews. ("Sacred Seeking," Lectionary Homiletics, Dec. 2004 — Jan. 2005, p. 65) In today’s scripture of John the Baptist sending his disciples to follow Jesus, she sees two ways of coming to Jesus: a simple way, and a complicated way. The simple way we see in John the Baptist, who finds Jesus without a shadow of a doubt. The complicated way we see in the two he sent to follow Jesus. They too find out who Jesus is, but only after questioning and searching and trial and uncertainty.

So it is with you and me. Some of us find Jesus like John the Baptist did, in a powerful, instantaneous, unforgettable moment. Others of us find Jesus like those first disciples did, in a gradual, sequential, complicated journey. If you look at each one, you may be able to see a bit of yourself. You may be able to see how you have found Jesus or how you are looking for Jesus.

First take John the Baptist. John is convinced without a doubt. He declares out loud, "Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" "I myself have seen and have testified that this is the Son of God." There is no ambiguity, no grays, only the black and white reality of who Jesus is. How does John know this? How does John find Jesus?

At Christmas we read the story of the wise men following the star to Bethlehem, where it pointed to the Savior, a babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger. It was the direction of the star, it was the songs of the heavenly hosts, it was the announcements of angels like Gabriel that pointed us to the Savior.

Now after Christmas we read of the adult Jesus beginning his saving ministry. Now there is no star, there are no heavenly hosts, there are no angels pointing toward him. But now there is the Holy Spirit pointing toward Jesus. John tells how Jesus came to him for baptism, how the Spirit came down from heaven like a dove and rested on Jesus. The Spirit pointed John to Jesus just as surely as the star pointed the wise men to the manger.

Some of us are blessed with believing in Jesus in the same way. For us there are no ambiguities about this. The Spirit of God has pointed Jesus out to us. Jesus is the one God has anointed, has chosen, to lead us out of our slavery to sin.

But Jesus does not come to everyone in the same way. For others of us, the way is more complicated, more the way of the first disciples. Let’s look at how it was for them. The two disciples of John do not take to Jesus in the same way John did. They begin to follow Jesus, but at a distance. They are strangely drawn to Jesus but they don’t fully understand who he is. Thus far their interest is more curiosity than conviction.

Jesus noticed them behind him, and turned and asked them, "What are you looking for?" I don’t think Jesus asked this casually, as in "What are you looking for?" I think he asked this seriously and openly, as in "What are you looking for?" As in, "what is on your mind and heart, and what are you hoping for in me?" And when you think about it, it is the question that most matters. What are you and I looking for in life? And what would we be looking for in anyone we followed? What kind of life are we looking for? What kind of savior are we looking for?

They answered, "Where are you staying?" Now that is interesting. They don’t answer his question. Maybe they can’t say just what they are looking for exactly because they don’t know. So they ask their own question, "Where are you staying?" They end up staying with Jesus all day. They end up staying with Jesus for the rest of their lives.

Now in the Gospel of John, "staying" or "abiding" are very powerful words. Jesus will teach them that he abides with the Father and the Father abides with him. Jesus will challenge them to abide in him. Jesus will invite them into a relationship of faith that is rooted in companionship. Jesus will invite them to stay with him in a relationship of deep trust the like of which they have never known. And it all starts with their curiosity.

And so it is with many of you listening today. Now some of you have found Jesus without a doubt, like John the Baptist did. Others of you are not there yet, but you are curious. Like those first disciples, you trail Jesus at a distance, wondering where he is headed.

You are following in some noble footprints. G. K. Chesterton followed Jesus at a distance too because he was unsure of Jesus. Chesterton was a British journalist "who set out to disprove the orthodoxy of the Christian faith — only to find himself years later embracing the very thing he had tried to demolish." (Andrews, p. 65)

And along on the trail behind Chesterton was C. S. Lewis. As a boy Lewis believed in God, but then was struck by the shock of his mother’s early death, from which his father never recovered. The grief left a deep hole in Lewis. If he had any shred of faith left, it was destroyed when Lewis went off to war. The personal suffering was soul-shaking. Lewis remembered going to sleep marching and waking up marching. He remembered being wounded by a shell that killed his comrades to either side of him. He remembered hearing that his best friend had been killed.

After the war, Lewis returned to teach at Oxford. It was there that he was intrigued by the writings of Chesterton. And it was there that he became part of a group of friends who called themselves the "Inklings." They were all writers and careful thinkers who did not accept answers too easy or simple. One member of the Inklings who influenced Lewis was J. R. R. Tolkien, a devout Catholic. To make a long story short, ten years after the Great War, C. S. Lewis found himself kneeling in his room, praying to a God that he was just beginning to believe in again. And by the time the next war came, C. S. Lewis became a thoughtful advocate for the faith for millions of Britons who were struggling to keep believing in the midst of great suffering.

I tell you his story today because I know that in this sanctuary there are not a few of you who are struggling to follow Jesus. You wish you could follow Jesus out of conviction as some are blessed to do. But for now you follow Jesus out of curiosity as Chesterton and Lewis did until it became conviction for them. I’m here to tell you that "To follow Jesus–whether out of curiosity or conviction–is to be a Christian." (Andrews, p. 66)

Let me conclude as I began with the help of Susan Andrews: Being Christian is not about having all the answers. Being Christian is not about acting perfectly. Being Christian is trying to catch up with Jesus like those first disciples did even though they were not entirely sure what they were looking for. Being Christian is simply being with Jesus for a while to see what happens: being with Jesus in worship, being with Jesus in Bible study, being with Jesus at the soup kitchen, being with Jesus along with other imperfect people in the church — that is how one abides with him, day after day. And some day maybe you will meet Jesus again, "really meet him, as if for the very first time." And then maybe you will see in your own way what John saw, the Spirit of God descending from heaven like a dove, pointing out the Son of God.

-- Douglas E. Murray